Just call me Brandy Van Winkle

Yeah yeah, I know. It's been a while. I've been neglectful. Certainly not because I don't love you ... whoever you are. I do. Really ... I just needed some time to myself. It's not you, it's me.

Now that that awkward moment has passed, let's move on, shall we?

I've recently become inspired to start writing again. I'm not entirely sure I'm the most enthralling subject matter, but as I have no other ideas at present time, it will have to do.

What the hell have I been up to? Oh, loads. I can't write it all in this blog post. You'll die of boredom, but I sure can sum it up in a handy dandy top ten list of things I've done since my last post:

10. You see that beautiful, sad little puppy below? I no longer belong to her. She had to find a new family - one that could be home enough to prevent her extreme separation anxiety. I mean, I know I'm cool, Mills, but I'm not THAT cool. It was a hard breakup, but we had to make it happen. On a brighter note, Holly Golightly (queen bee/Persian cat of Barker Manor) is elated that she has the whole nest to herself again.

9. I saw a baby being born. Live. Yep. 'Nuff said. I will say that all you mommies out there are effing troopers and I salute you. Seriously. Especially my cousin. I think the hardest part was trying not to laugh out loud when she told the nurse she could go fuck herself. It was a special moment.

8. I've successfully started reading for pleasure again. I've plundered my way through four books in the past two weeks and I have no inclination to slow down. I bought 10 books from Hastings courtesy of a gift card from my dad and some family friends and I'm making those books my bitch.

7. Attended my high school reunion. A decade later, I managed to attend an event that I was totally dreading and ended up really enjoying. Findings: Some people really do change for the better. Some people blissfully stay just the same. And some people you can probably stand to delete off your Facebook.

6. Successfully fooled some good friends of Chris' into thinking we were actually married. And I didn't even try. Apparently, it was the constant picking on each other that gave them that idea.

5. Attended a wedding at Starbucks. Yup. It was as awesome as it sounds. Awesome wedding, awesome couple, awesome coffee.

4. Lost an evil stepmother. She and Lady Tremaine should get together, have drinks, and swap stories.

3. Paid off my car. This requires no explanation, but I certainly will accept your congratulations.

2. Attended the bachelorette party of one of my oldest and dearest friends and didn't have to introduce Pedialyte into the equation. I consider this to be a shining moment in my adulthood. I know when to say when.

1. Turned 28. That's two years away from 30. This gets a person to thinking about what they want out of life and how they want to continue living it. There are certainly some adjustments I want to make. There are things I'd like to continue doing and things I'd like to start doing. But that's all for another post.