Loss of a Legend

This morning I woke to the sound of my blackberry notifying me that I had a text message. Who the hell would be texting me at 6:45 in the morning? I was pleased to see it was my best friend, Sarah. Sadly, she was delivering some tragic news: Our favorite comedian and social commentator, George Carlin, was dead at age 71.

To be honest, I'm not entirely surprised to hear it. I was fortunate to see him on tour with his last standup routine at Jesse Hall in Columbia with my dad, an equally devoted Carlin fan. The performance was not quite at his peak ... always funny, but not quite the same as some of the stuff he put out in the late 70s through early 90s ... routines that made Sarah and I double over in laughter when we'd stay up until the wee hours in high school watching old specials. I swear I've never laughed so hard. At this performance, his age was showing. Spunky and surly as ever, but you could see that he was turning into an old man and it was then that I realized ... he might not be around much longer. It was a dreadful thought. And sadly, the day is here.

His social commentary, while often shocking, always spoke a bit of truth. Truth hurts, and Carlin never failed to unabashedly provide his honest, if somewhat scathingly cynical, opinion. He had a way of making you understand how ridiculous we could be with our social mores ...

For example (regarding common expressions he questions...):

"The greatest thing since sliced bread. So this is it? A couple thousand years ... What about the Pyramids ... The Panama Canal ... The Great Wall of China ... even a lava lamp, to me is greater than sliced bread. What's so great about sliced bread? You got a knife. You got a loaf of bread...SLICE the fucking thing!!! And get on with your life."

He really did have a way of putting things in perspective.

So, if you're having a bad day, just remember, you can always count on Carlin for a little laughter. I mean, if poking fun at people's stupidity doesn't make you feel better, I don't know what will.

And while there's a universe of funny Carlin comments that will keep me laughing for years, I leave you now with my top ten:

10. "The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done."

9. "Think of how stupid the average person is and realize half of them are stupider that."

8. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Continued dark overnight ... with widely scattered light by morning."

7. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these institutions screw us up enough on our own, so both of them together is certain death."

6. "I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it."

5. [About airplane announcements] "About this time, someone is telling you to get on the plane. 'Get on the plane. Get on the plane.' I say, 'fuck you, I'm getting IN the plane! Let Evil Knievel get ON the plane! I'll be in here with you folks in uniform! There seems to be less WIND in here!'"

4. "I don't have pet peeves. I have major psychotic fucking hatreds, okay? And it makes the world a lot easier to sort out."

3. "And speaking of mindless Hollywood cocksuckers, before Charlton Heston became President of these dickless lunatics in the NRA, they had a different guy. He's still one of their major spokesman, and his name is Wayne LaPierre. Doesn't that sound a bit fruity to you? "Hi, I'm Wayne, I'm a gun person. Bang bang!" You know what this guy's name ought to be? Biff Webster. Spud Crowley ... a man's name! Chuck Steak!"

2. "Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat! Sixty-nine assholes tied in a knot! Hooray! Lizard shit! Fuck!"

1. And it can only be relived through video. I bid you adieu.

Home Sweet Home

I'm off this weekend to Jefferson City, home of the Jays. Oh wait, and the state capitol. Right.

Father's Day is on Sunday and I'll be spending quality time with my stepdad, Andy, and my dad, Paul, as well as a slew of other family members.

Tales from the weekend to come soon. Have a safe weekend. Wear sunscreen.

With that, I leave you with a little Mötley Crüe.

Redemption

So, in light of recent events, I've been feeling pretty down on St. Louis City. I mean, did I really move here to live in the midst of the crime in one of the nation's most dangerous cities? To tell you the truth, it's not that bad. The crime stinks, yes, but the times I see it are few and far between, if at all.

St. Louis has several redeeming qualities that make it precious to me — one of which I experienced last night — the St. Louis Shakespeare Festival. It wasn't even that the play was incredibly spectacular (I love Shakespeare, but this is not even close to being one of my faves) ... more of the fact that I live in an urban area where you can still do communal things like this. I love that I have Forest Park at my back door — nearly 1,300 acres of leisure at my disposal (and yes, for you New York City Kids, that IS bigger than Central Park). I think, for the most part, it's the sense of community you feel when you attend events like this ... sitting on a blanket, drinking wine, watching Shakespeare acted out on stage surrounded by a diverse crowd of art lovers. Just a bunch of people hanging out in Forest Park on a nice evening. To me, it was undeniably St. Louis. And I like that.

A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!

Tonight, I'll be attending the St. Louis Shakespeare Festival with my friend Amanda to take in a performance of Richard III. Tragedy...seems to fit in with the theme of my week (or at least last night). What is not tragic is the bottle of Pinot Noir we'll be consuming whilst watching said play. There is a silver lining after all.

The City Smells Like Someone Just Got Shot in the Ass

I'm one of those odd birds that is an emphatic city dweller. When I first moved here four years ago, the city was in the early stages of revitalization. This city was in desperate need of a makeover and it was finally starting to break out some mascara.

I think it's absolutely true that in order for the city to improve, we need residents that care about and care for our neighborhoods. Maybe I feel like I should shoulder this burden myself because I decided about six months ago that Benton Park was getting to be a little too nice for my tastes. So, I packed up and moved into a freshly rehabbed apartment in the "trendy" Grove neighborhood. It has definite perks ... don't get me wrong. Super restaurants that are getting more plentiful by the ... well ... every few months, anyway. Manchester Ave. boasts a roster of bars that could arguably rival Washington Ave.

However ...

Tonight, as I was sitting on my couch minding my own business, being a good and quiet Grove neighbor, the four horsemen of the Apocalypse come riding onto my street in the form of no fewer than 30 police cars -- sirens blazing, tires squealing. The cause? Apparently a policeman was forced to shoot some little "gang banger" (as a neighbor called him) in the ass because he was doing something stupid.

St. Louis Police Officer Shoots Fleeing Suspect
Last Edited: Wednesday, 11 Jun 2008, 11:01 PM CDT
Created: Wednesday, 11 Jun 2008, 11:01 PM CDT

(KTVI - myFOXstl.com) -- The St. Louis Police Department Homicide Division is investigating a police officer involved shooting. The incident happened Wednesday night around 10 pm. Police were apparently attempting to arrest a suspect in the 43-hundred block of Gibson near Manchester when the suspect fled. The suspect was shot in the buttocks. The wound is not believed to be life threatening. A gun believed to belong to the suspect was recovered at the crime scene.

This isn't the first shooting in this neighborhood since I've moved here. I'm beginning to question my motives.

P.S. If someone from the St. Louis Police Department happens to be reading this, can you please take care of the building alarm that has been going off since 7:30 across the street? It's keeping me awake. (Sheesh ... I feel like I'm Forrest Gump in Watergate).

UPDATE: More on the shooting here. Apparently, it was drug related. Lovely. I can't wait to buy a house. In another neighborhood.

Welcome

So, first thing's first...I can't really launch into all I have to say about life and the surrounding chaos before welcoming you to this blog. I started it, really, as an outlet to keep friends and family updated on the randomness that is my life, and also make some new friends in the process.

There will be no strict outline...I'll cover things that are relevant to me and my life at the time. And let's be honest...that could be any number of things at any given time.

So, I hope you stay tuned for the madness. It's going to be a beautiful ride.